It’s New Year’s Eve 2019. The end of a year and the beginning of a new decade. Ten years is a whole lot of life and looking back… wow, so much has happened. Actually it’s kind of easy now to look back on the last decade thanks to social media. Can you believe Instagram is almost 10 years old?! We get daily updates on where we were 1, 2, 7 years ago. Most of the time it’s a fun memory but, maybe, also a little bitter sweet. Two moves, three children, two miscarriages, brain surgery, new jobs. It serves as a reminder of how time seems to be flying faster and faster. The more I hold on to these moments the quicker they seem to slip through my hands. This next year I want that to change.
There was a time (not so long ago) within these past tens years that my goal was to be a blogger/influencer. I wanted to create a pretty home, have perfectly dressed kids, make up recipes to share online (I don’t even like to cook that much), wear all the latest trends and all while someone was paying me to do so. I followed a ton of people/accounts on facebook and instagram and was honestly just waiting for someone to notice me. If that even makes sense? I just needed one lucky break from someone “of importance” to find my account and think I was “good enough” to showcase whatever they were selling. Saying that out loud (er, writing it down) it sounds rather crazy. But then again, who doesn’t want to feel noticed or wanted. Who doesn’t want to belong? Isn’t that what social media is all about anyways? Throwing our best selves out there to get people to “like” us?
Guys, it’s taken me almost a full year to figure out this one simple fact - WE. ARE. ALL. INFLUENCERS. Every time you post a photo on IG or FB you are influencing someone somewhere. Each time you comment, every like… you’ve given your approval. I don’t know about you but I’ve spent way too much of this last decade comparing my circumstances with others - especially others that I don’t even know personally. I follow accounts because I like the way they decorate and with every kitchen reno post I feel myself getting discouraged because my house will never look like that. I follow mom’s who seem to they have it all together and instantly feel inadequate because I’m not skinny enough or do my makeup everyday or have a Pinterest-worthy craft waiting for my kids when they wake up from their naps. I follow women who are killing it in their business and immediately feel shame for not putting in more time on my own. WHYYYYY?!? Why do we allow ourselves to be influenced this way? Why are we comparing ourselves to random strangers on the internet when we don’t know them or their lives or what they are going through. We are all a part of God’s creation, all a part of one body. We should be rejoicing in other’s successes instead of drowning in comparison which is STEALING OUR JOY. The only one we should be worried about impressing is Christ and He already says come as you are - we are already good enough in His eyes.
I’m a photographer. I love picture perfect as much as anyone but perfect isn’t real. I want to see authenticity. I want to follow more people who aren’t afraid to put themselves out there and connect in a deeper way. I want to link arms with people struggling with infertility and miscarriage. I want to be reachable to those who are lonely because social media shouldn’t be anti-social. I want to have your back (if you’ll have mine) when you need a break from motherhood. I want to be in relationship with actual people not accounts.
I’ve spent most of this last year throwing around this idea in my head. What if, instead of putting only our picture perfect on social media… we were more real? Better yet, what if we still posted our perfect photo then simultaneously flipped the camera around and posted a selfie or the current state of the kitchen? Yes, please post all of the staged photos of your kids dressed up for church but then let’s be honest about the state of your patience or exactly how much candy and snacks it took to bribe them. I get it. People don’t want to see the mess. But I want to be free to share a glimpse of my life and not feel the urge to tidy up before I snap the photo or better yet, apologize for the mess in the background. Our whole lives are a stage, let’s STOP STAGING MOMENTS! Let the moments happen even if it isn’t aesthetically pleasing. And I’m mainly talking to myself right now but I’m sure I’m not alone. Who cares if it doesn’t coincide with your brand - when did lifestyle stop being just that? THESE ARE YOUR MOMENTS AND NO ONE ELSE GETS TO LIVE THEM. No one else’s life is going to look like yours. Isn’t that amazing?
I’m not going to lie, if someone came along today and handed me a whole lotta free stuff in exchange for my opinion… I’d probably still do it (hey, you all know I’m a sucker for free stuff). But I hope I’d have a little bit different outlook on it. So here’s my 2020 New Years resolution. To be more authentic on social media and also in person. To stop comparing my life to someone else’s Top 9. To be extremely grateful for all that I have been given… the good and the bad… because it’s what has brought me here.
What would social media look like if more people were authentic? If we said goodbye to seo and algorithms? What if we created a movement and took back social media to be just that…social… relative… connected. What if we started being who we were meant to be and influenced others to show them they are loved and wanted and fully accepted for who they really are? Want to go on this journey with me?
Want to #reallifeswipe ?
this was our Christmas card pic this year. It was the first snow of the year and I made everyone throw on their coats and hats for a quick photo my neighbor so graciously snapped of us. Think everyone was looking and smiling at the same time? nope, I had to photoshop heads. not everything you see is real.
#reallifeswipe // this is me. skipping a shower to write this during nap time. with no plans for NYE except to end 2019 with my family.