New Year's Resolution // December 2019 // New Knoxville, OH

It’s New Year’s Eve 2019. The end of a year and the beginning of a new decade. Ten years is a whole lot of life and looking back… wow, so much has happened. Actually it’s kind of easy now to look back on the last decade thanks to social media. Can you believe Instagram is almost 10 years old?! We get daily updates on where we were 1, 2, 7 years ago. Most of the time it’s a fun memory but, maybe, also a little bitter sweet. Two moves, three children, two miscarriages, brain surgery, new jobs. It serves as a reminder of how time seems to be flying faster and faster. The more I hold on to these moments the quicker they seem to slip through my hands. This next year I want that to change.

There was a time (not so long ago) within these past tens years that my goal was to be a blogger/influencer. I wanted to create a pretty home, have perfectly dressed kids, make up recipes to share online (I don’t even like to cook that much), wear all the latest trends and all while someone was paying me to do so. I followed a ton of people/accounts on facebook and instagram and was honestly just waiting for someone to notice me. If that even makes sense? I just needed one lucky break from someone “of importance” to find my account and think I was “good enough” to showcase whatever they were selling. Saying that out loud (er, writing it down) it sounds rather crazy. But then again, who doesn’t want to feel noticed or wanted. Who doesn’t want to belong? Isn’t that what social media is all about anyways? Throwing our best selves out there to get people to “like” us?

Guys, it’s taken me almost a full year to figure out this one simple fact - WE. ARE. ALL. INFLUENCERS. Every time you post a photo on IG or FB you are influencing someone somewhere. Each time you comment, every like… you’ve given your approval. I don’t know about you but I’ve spent way too much of this last decade comparing my circumstances with others - especially others that I don’t even know personally. I follow accounts because I like the way they decorate and with every kitchen reno post I feel myself getting discouraged because my house will never look like that. I follow mom’s who seem to they have it all together and instantly feel inadequate because I’m not skinny enough or do my makeup everyday or have a Pinterest-worthy craft waiting for my kids when they wake up from their naps. I follow women who are killing it in their business and immediately feel shame for not putting in more time on my own. WHYYYYY?!? Why do we allow ourselves to be influenced this way? Why are we comparing ourselves to random strangers on the internet when we don’t know them or their lives or what they are going through. We are all a part of God’s creation, all a part of one body. We should be rejoicing in other’s successes instead of drowning in comparison which is STEALING OUR JOY. The only one we should be worried about impressing is Christ and He already says come as you are - we are already good enough in His eyes.

I’m a photographer. I love picture perfect as much as anyone but perfect isn’t real. I want to see authenticity. I want to follow more people who aren’t afraid to put themselves out there and connect in a deeper way. I want to link arms with people struggling with infertility and miscarriage. I want to be reachable to those who are lonely because social media shouldn’t be anti-social. I want to have your back (if you’ll have mine) when you need a break from motherhood. I want to be in relationship with actual people not accounts.

I’ve spent most of this last year throwing around this idea in my head. What if, instead of putting only our picture perfect on social media… we were more real? Better yet, what if we still posted our perfect photo then simultaneously flipped the camera around and posted a selfie or the current state of the kitchen? Yes, please post all of the staged photos of your kids dressed up for church but then let’s be honest about the state of your patience or exactly how much candy and snacks it took to bribe them. I get it. People don’t want to see the mess. But I want to be free to share a glimpse of my life and not feel the urge to tidy up before I snap the photo or better yet, apologize for the mess in the background. Our whole lives are a stage, let’s STOP STAGING MOMENTS! Let the moments happen even if it isn’t aesthetically pleasing. And I’m mainly talking to myself right now but I’m sure I’m not alone. Who cares if it doesn’t coincide with your brand - when did lifestyle stop being just that? THESE ARE YOUR MOMENTS AND NO ONE ELSE GETS TO LIVE THEM. No one else’s life is going to look like yours. Isn’t that amazing?

I’m not going to lie, if someone came along today and handed me a whole lotta free stuff in exchange for my opinion… I’d probably still do it (hey, you all know I’m a sucker for free stuff). But I hope I’d have a little bit different outlook on it. So here’s my 2020 New Years resolution. To be more authentic on social media and also in person. To stop comparing my life to someone else’s Top 9. To be extremely grateful for all that I have been given… the good and the bad… because it’s what has brought me here.

What would social media look like if more people were authentic? If we said goodbye to seo and algorithms? What if we created a movement and took back social media to be just that…social… relative… connected. What if we started being who we were meant to be and influenced others to show them they are loved and wanted and fully accepted for who they really are? Want to go on this journey with me?

Want to #reallifeswipe ?

this was our Christmas card pic this year. It was the first snow of the year and I made everyone throw on their coats and hats for a quick photo my neighbor so graciously snapped of us. Think everyone was looking and smiling at the same time? nope, I had to photoshop heads. not everything you see is real.

#reallifeswipe // this is me. skipping a shower to write this during nap time. with no plans for NYE except to end 2019 with my family.

Bushong Abode // May 2019 // Bellefontaine, Ohio

We have lived at our house in Bellefontaine now for almost seven years. And wow have those seven years seen a lot of life happen. When we bought this house back in 2012 it was a dream come true. Nick and I were living separate at that time due to work after selling our home in Columbus. I was just ready to live with my husband again and ready to have our own place to call home. We had looked at what seemed like a million houses and put in offers on several of them. Time after time, something wouldn’t work out. We would get out bid. Paperwork wouldn’t go through. One house even got hit by a huge storm and had a giant tree fall on it - talk about God shutting a door by smashing all the windows. I sat at a stop sign feeling defeated and crying out to God. “God, you said you would give me the desires of my heart. And well, if I’m being honest (looking around at my surrounding and seeing this gorgeous 3 story farmhouse), I’d ABSOLUTELY LOVE a house like that one.” And I kid you not, that next week a For Sale sign was in the yard and we were in contract even though they had several cash offers on the table. You see, never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined we could own a house like the one we are in. It had everything we could have ever wanted - character, history, land. But God doesn’t stop at my wildest dreams, His dreams are even wilder than mine. He’s not confined to the box I so often put Him in. All these houses that fell through, they were just not what God had ahead for us. Yes, it was uncomfortable and super inconvenient for a time. But God was there, in the waiting and the wanting. I’m pretty sure that’s where He wants us to be at all times. With your back up against the wall and the only thing that is in front of you is the future He’s waiting for you to step into. And He’s right in front of your face cheering you on to seize this opportunity. Because what we think we want and what we have “planned” for our lives is most likely not even on His radar.

Then sometimes when He gives you the desires of your heart it’s only for a season.

I remember getting the call. I had an 8 month old baby and twin 2 year olds. It was in the middle of my busy season and I was juggling all the things. At this point my nerves were shot. I was having anxiety attacks and to be quite honest, living with PTSD from my husband’s seizures/brain tumor. One afternoon Nick called from work to let me know that he would be needing to find new employment. His position was being eliminated.

I was blindsided once again and I found myself questioning. God if you are so good… then why? Don’t we deserve a break? But this wasn’t the first time I had asked Him these types of questions. I asked him when we were on the house hunt the first time. And I asked him again when we were going through 7 years of infertility. And again when we experienced two miscarriages. When Nick had a seizure in the back yard. When they found a mass in his brain. And here I was again, always with the questioning. You would think I would have learned by now. Learned that yes, all of that has happened to us but hasn’t He ALWAYS come through? Hasn’t He ALWAYS provided and redeemed what the Devil tried to destroy? And if he provided the house, the kids, the clean bill of health and the strength and endurance to travel all those roads then would He not do the same now? Why is it so easy for me to jump into anxiety and the need for control instead of simply rest in His peace and provision.

Nick was able to find a new job and not only any job, one he really enjoys. He comes home much more fulfilled and has a sense of purpose. What I thought was a round of bad news, God turned it into good. Nick’s new job is an hour away. Because of that as well as some other things, we’ve decided it’s time to move.

Honestly, I’d love to say that I have peace about it but the truth is I’m still working on that. I’m still in the process but even when I do have peace - it still won’t be easy. To move from the house I said I would live in forever. The house I brought my babies home to and the backyard my sister got married in. Move from the tree we planted when we lost Oliver. This is like my big trust fall with God. We have know idea where we are going or what house we will live in but if the past is any indication, God’s already got it handled.

We have become a part of the story of this house and geez, does this house have stories. I find marbles whenever I dig in the landscaping from the little boy who grew up here almost 100 years ago. The fireplace was the backdrop to a wedding in the early 1900’s. The remnants of cattle fencing line the property where large barns used to be. We are just a chapter and I know we lived it well. I’ll remember my girls climbing ladders to eat mulberries from branches. Falling asleep in the back of the trailer while Nick mowed the 6 acre property. Dancing under the stars with my newly married sister. Building the chicken coop from scratch (or would it be for scratch?). Eating pizza in the empty living room the very first night as the sun set and the house went dark because it was without electric. Many a party was thrown and we even hosted our first family Thanksgiving. The way the beveled glass windows shoot rainbows across the room in the afternoon sun and the maple tree turns crimson in the fall. These walls have heard some tears but they’ve heard much more laughter. I know you’re thinking - gosh, Marie Kondo that house already. And I may or may have ;) But more than that, I’ve thanked God for giving us this house for a season.

We may be selling our house but we’re taking our home with us.

The Bushong family has allowed Grace to document their family from the very beginning!

In case you were interested in becoming a part of this house’s story - click here - or to walk down memory lane - click here -

The Gift of Memories

Give the gift of memories and purchase an Erica Lee Photo Gift Certificate for your loved ones this holiday season. It's a gift that will be cherished for many more holidays to come!